Superb Dating Advice

When it comes to the ladies, I am a man addiction. They cannot resist my charming smile and my dashing haircut. When it comes to dating there is no book better than Time Will Only Tell (if you know a publisher, I am still looking). I will share with you some advice from the book.

• When it comes to selecting the right "mood music" other people might choose jazz or classical, but I play a nice relaxing 50-cent album. That’s right, nothing is more romantic than "That first verse is just a dose of the shit that I'm on consider this the first chapter in the ghetto's Quran I know a lot of niggas that get dough like Remmy and Joe".



• When speaking, never use her name, instead address her as "lady". For instance, "the lady will have the cheeseburger and fries from the kids menu.." It works like a charm. Whenever you need to address a group, use the term "ladyz" with a prolonged "Z"



• When dinning with a lady, always make eyes at your waitress. Play hard to get, and go ahead and order that forth and fith beer.



• Nothing says manliness better then a thick patch of chest hair. Keep the buttons down, and if you got flaunt it.



• Valentines Day is approaching, and nothing says "I love you" like a drunken frat party. So, find that special someone and hit the bars and parties all night.

I will post more of my rules from Time Will Only Tell in the future. Two more rule added, let me know what you think.

Disclaimer, Kyle is not responsible for any harm that might come to you psychologically or physically when using his proven techniques.

Like a Fish

My New years celebration started out as your typical gathering of friends. We exchanged best wishes and happy New Year while we indulged in several bottles of fine Champaign. Watching the New Years celebration unfold around the world from a web cam feed was fun and exciting. As each person became intoxicated with the cool, refreshing, and bubbly taste of Champaign.

As soon as the clock struck 12:00AM, everyone was alive with fresh ideas of how the night should proceed. We pilled into two cars and quickly made our way to a posh club; the music was blaring and the alcohol was flowing. Several vodka tonics had me pinned down. I was a bit loopy. My friends and I spent the rest of the night dancing and drinking, a great way to celebrate any occasion.

The night slowly began to wind down. As we arrived back to the apartment, I made a made dash for the nearest lavatory. Oh, Vodka you are a cruel mistress indeed, but I do love you so much. I spent several hours passed out on the cold bathroom floor. When I came to, I stammered down the steps and lied down on the closest available seat.

The next morning everyone awoke to the smell of a rich breakfast. The breakfast was prepared by one of my friends and included eggs, hash browns, and pancakes. Everything was home made, yummy.